An Explanation for my New Lease on Life

You know that song "Imagine" by John Lennon? Every time I hear it, I think of a world falling apart. Imagining there's no heaven, it is easy to try. I've done it before. I imagined there was no hell, no consequences, no government, no religion, nothing to own, nothing to work for, no reason to fight. At first, I agreed. Maybe we don't need the things we thought we did. I thought maybe there was no point to clawing my way through life, because even if there was heaven, nothing from this world would go with me. And what if there was only darkness afterwards?

In that moment, however, I lay staring into the face of death. It was beautiful and terrifying in the same second. It was cold and yet so warmly inviting. I could feel its hands trying to grasp me. I could hear the whisper to meet my fate. It sang softly, lulling me out of mortal pain, coaxing me into the growing blackness.

My sight was fading, the only sound was my own rapid heartbeat. At first, I let myself slip a little at a time. Then, I began to panic about being right and wrong; about my place in the cosmos. Was I really going to fade into nonexistence? Would I feel myself decay? What would happen to my memory? I tried to sort it out with both religion and science, recalling as much as I had been taught about either.

Then it all became clear. Even if there was no God, no Kingdom beyond this life, the universe worked with purpose. Everything had cause and effect, up and down; physically, there was no way to exist without sending some sort of energy radiating through all of existence.

I reflected on my past. What kind of energy had I sent out? Not one of any positivity. For all of my two decades on the planet, I had only two memories that didn't cause pain. What, then, would resound back? Everything that had made me miserable in my life.

It was that thought, that fear of nothingness, of destruction, slamming back into everything, that gave me the will to change my world. It was that thought that lead to the unraveling of my sorrow.

I'm terrible, I know.

But I made chocolate covered bacon! Yes, those things go together. Quite well, too.

My mother and I threw a chocolate party this week. Specifically, we threw a chocolate party to demonstrate some of the ways to use DoTerra essential oils. We made cake, brownies, fondue, the bacon, and our becoming-famous bean truffles.

Yes, beans.

It sounds weird, but it actually makes the truffle less choking-on-sugar sweet, adds a smoother texture, is lower in fat, and is easier to flavor. We thought up the idea when my mom was asked to teach a class on using and storing beans a few years back. They've been popular in our area since. We flavor them with oils like cinnamon, peppermint, orange, or lemon. I like the peppermint best, but I'm dying to try making them with spearmint. It takes at least a whole day to make one batch though, so we try to save them for special occasions.

I did think about holding a tea party for the Corpus Christi Lolita Group and making some then, but I'm not sure when I'd do that. Or if anyone would come. We had a big turn out for our business event, but none of my friends came. Oh well, maybe next time.

For pictures, visit my mom over at http://mtoils.blogspot.com

Au Revoir <3